Give Yourself the Gift of Self-Kindness This Year. Quieting the Inner Critic.

By Jackie White

I know this person, and she is the most awkward chick, and OMG, her butt is far too big! With a wide load like that, she ought to have that thing registered with the county. She probably beeps when she backs up, too. I don’t mean to be mean, I am just speaking the truth. While I am at it, let me tell you, she is seriously as dumb as a rock sometimes, and I am embarrassed for her. She needs to start acting and looking perfect so that people don’t notice how ridiculous she is.

Ouch! Who talks about someone like that? Probably you. Whoa, before you knock me into next week, let me add that it’s me too, and about 80% of us who talk negatively to ourselves. Oh, and by the way, this affects women far more than men.

That is truly a painful statistic. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Depending on who you talk to you might hear different reasons, but one of the most pervasive reasons is the world of social media. Social media provides a perfect place where all of us can meet and do one of two things; bring each other up or tear each other down. Unfortunately, the latter can take a serious toll on us and result in how we view our own world and selves. Besides that, much of the blather online is unhealthy for your well-being because much of it is negative. Unfortunately, bad news sells.

So, I am going to suggest something sort of rebellious. Rebellion is always fun, isn’t it? How about you put yourself first this season? Yes, I know it’s the season of giving, but you don’t need to exclude yourself from that list! I want you to give yourself some respite from all the negativity. Here’s the thing, when you break from a continual diet of negativity, you break the stress it causes and you clear your mind from that negative self-talk. Consider this a gift to yourself and all it will cost you is a little bit of forethought and willingness to change.

Your Gift of Kindness to Yourself

Limit Social Media Exposure
Make a plan to get off social media either at certain times of the day or limit the amount of time you are on it. Fill that time with other things you like to do such as reading, exercising, chatting with a friend or doing something creative.

Fill the Feed and Your Life with Positivity
Begin to eliminate the negative black holes in your feed and your life by replacing them with positive sites like FindYourSoulshine.com or @SoulShine LIfe Connections on Facebook or Instagram, duh! And in real life, spend time doing the things you love, enjoy the holiday season for once and make time to hang out with those who lift you up! 

Train Yourself to Seek out Positivity
When things start going to hell, and they will, just rise up above whatever the chaos of the day is and look to find something positive. This will begin to train your mind to not go down a negative thought pattern.

Give Yourself Grace and Start Again
When you hear a critical voice in your head, otherwise known as the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee, then acknowledge it by telling it to move on and fill that void with something affirming about yourself. For example, if you hear “Girl you are a fool to speak up in front of all these people” Tell the IBSC (Itty Bitty Shitty Committee) to shut their face and replace the negative inner critique with something like “Girl, you got this! You know what you are talking about. Speak loud and proud!” Note that these positive affirmations will have the chance to take hold and become a habit when linked with the conscious removal of the negative banter.

Rebel this holiday season and create some kindness for yourself. Take the time to clear out the negativity and look for the joy this season can bring.

Happy Holidays and Shine On!